That detail alone tells you something about February 1, 1958 — about the world Margaret Mary Cooney stepped into when she married Phil Donahue at San Felipe de Neri, one of the oldest Catholic churches in the United States. A Solemn High Nuptial Mass, in Albuquerque, New Mexico, with the full weight of tradition pressing down on every pew. She was twenty-two. He was fresh out of Notre Dame. Neither of them could have imagined what was coming.
Phil Donahue would go on to reshape American television so thoroughly that Oprah Winfrey would one day say she wouldn’t exist without him. And Marge Cooney? She’d quietly raise five children, walk away from everything the fame offered, and build a life so deliberately private that when she died in 2018, most of the country didn’t notice.
Quick Facts
| Detail | Info |
|---|---|
| Full Name | Margaret Mary Cooney |
| Born | 1936, West Orange, New Jersey |
| Died | February 2, 2018, Brandywine at Wall, New Jersey |
| Age at Death | 82 |
| Education | St. Mary’s High School; College of Mount St. Joseph, Cincinnati; Marquette University, Milwaukee |
| Marriage | Phil Donahue (Feb. 1, 1958 – 1975) |
| Children | Michael, Kevin, Daniel, James (Jim), Mary Rose |
| Known For | First wife of television host Phil Donahue |
| Later Life | Community volunteer; parishioner at St. Mark’s Church, Sea Girt, NJ |
| Net Worth | Not publicly disclosed |
Where She Came From
West Orange, New Jersey in 1936 was a different country from the world Marge Cooney would eventually inhabit. She was born to Mr. and Mrs. James B. Cooney, raised in a home that prized education, faith, and family bonds above everything else. The family moved around — Chatham, New Jersey for a stretch, then Boca Raton, Florida, for nearly thirty years. But one place anchored Marge her entire life: Sea Girt, New Jersey, a quiet shore community where she spent more than 57 summers.
Fifty-seven summers. Think about what that means — a thread of continuity running through girlhood, marriage, divorce, grief, and old age. While everything else shifted, the Jersey Shore held steady.
Her education followed a Catholic arc that shaped her values in ways no diploma could fully capture. She began at St. Mary’s High School, then attended the College of Mount St. Joseph in Cincinnati, Ohio, and later pursued further studies at Marquette University in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. It was Marquette that changed everything — not because of the degree, but because of who else was nearby.
The Turning Point: A Man Named Jim
Here’s what most people don’t know about how Marge and Phil Donahue found each other.
During his college days at Notre Dame, Phil was deep into theater. Through those circles, he met a man named Jim Cooney. They became close friends quickly — and Jim introduced his sister Margaret to Phil. Phil later described seeing her for the first time: a tall, striking woman in an overcoat buttoned up around her neck. Their romance didn’t ignite immediately. She eventually left school and moved to Chicago, landing a job at Price Waterhouse in the Prudential Building, while Phil was finishing his senior year at Notre Dame.
Distance didn’t kill what they had. It clarified it.
They graduated in 1957 and got engaged. Then, on that cold February morning in 1958, surrounded by family and three priests, they became husband and wife at San Felipe de Neri Church — one of the oldest cathedrals in the country.
Career Rise: His, and the Life She Built Around It
Phil Donahue’s ascent was not graceful or instant. He ground through radio work in Michigan, then television in Ohio, building momentum nobody could see yet. The Phil Donahue Show premiered in 1967 in Dayton, Ohio — the first popular talk show to feature audience participation — and eventually ran for 29 years on national television before ending in New York City in 1996.
When that show launched, Marge had five children at home. Michael was born in 1959, Kevin in 1960, Daniel in 1961, James in 1963, and Mary Rose — their only daughter — in 1965. Five children in six years. While Phil was building a television revolution, Marge was raising five human beings.
She didn’t leverage it. She didn’t call producers, didn’t court magazine profiles, didn’t show up at premieres expecting applause. The family lived in Centerville, Ohio — across the street from humorist Erma Bombeck — while Donahue’s face became known to millions. Marge stayed home. That was its own kind of career, and it required its own kind of skill.
Personal Life: The Marriage That Cracked Under Pressure
Phil Donahue admitted it plainly in a 2002 interview with Oprah Winfrey. When asked whether he’d been “the traditional workaholic guy who had traditional expectations of your wife” in his first marriage, he answered without flinching: “Sure. And I was very ambitious.”
He wasn’t lying. A man building something that had never been built before doesn’t always notice what he’s slowly dismantling at home.
In 1973, they separated for ten months, then reconciled for the sake of their children. It held together for only four more months before they separated for good. The divorce was finalized in 1975, after seventeen years of marriage. The reasons were never made public. Neither Marge nor Phil chose to air it.
The custody arrangement was the part that raised eyebrows at the time. Phil retained custody of their four sons, while Marge raised their daughter, Mary Rose. It was unusual. It was private. And it stayed that way.
According to a Washington Post profile of Donahue written in 1980, Margaret returned to her native New Mexico after the divorce, remarried, and disappeared from public view. The name of her second husband was never publicly shared, and Marge kept it that way.
Controversies: The Records Don’t Agree
Any honest account of Marge Cooney’s life has to acknowledge something uncomfortable: much of what’s written about her online is contradictory, and some of it appears to be invented.
Different sources cite different birth years — 1936 and 1938 both appear repeatedly. One website claims she was born in Chicago in 1932 and attended Notre Dame — both demonstrably wrong details borrowed from Phil’s biography and reassigned to her. Several sites that describe her as still living were written before her 2018 death and were never updated.
The Washington Post’s 1980 report — a primary source from a credible outlet — confirms she remarried and returned to New Mexico. But her second husband’s name remains unknown, and details of that marriage have never surfaced publicly. Where records conflict, this article uses the most verifiable sources. Where no reliable information exists — particularly about her second marriage — this article says nothing at all.
Life After the Cameras
She rebuilt quietly and completely.
Albuquerque first, with Mary Rose, raising her daughter in a city that didn’t know or care who her ex-husband was. Then the slow drift back east, toward the places that had always felt like home — New Jersey, Florida, the Jersey Shore she’d loved since childhood.
Her anchor was faith. She served as an active parishioner at St. Mark’s Church in Sea Girt, New Jersey, and volunteered regularly at St. Joan of Arc Church in Boca Raton, Florida. Not just attending services — actually showing up. Prayer groups, community events, helping people she’d never be famous for helping. She was also a long-time member of the Spring Lake Golf Club, where she found both the game and the friendships worth keeping.
Then, in 2014, the kind of loss no faith can fully prepare you for. James “Jim” Donahue — her youngest son — died suddenly at age 51 from a ruptured aortic aneurysm. He’d been living in Hawaii, practicing law, working as a passionate advocate for justice. A colleague called him a “true warrior who fought the injustices of the world.” His ashes were scattered in the waters off Honolulu.
Marge had watched that boy become a man. Then she had to watch him become a memory.
She kept going. That’s what the record shows. She kept going.
The End, and What It Looked Like
On February 2, 2018, Marge Cooney passed away peacefully at Brandywine at Wall, a senior care residence in New Jersey. She was 82 years old. Her children and extended family were present. There was no press release, no national obituary, no retrospective segment on the evening news.
Phil Donahue outlived her by more than six years. He died on August 18, 2024, at the age of 88. His death prompted tributes from across the television industry, from journalists, from cultural critics who understood what he’d built. Marge’s death had prompted nothing like that.
Conclusion
The temptation is to frame Marge Cooney’s story as a tragedy — the woman history overlooked, the first wife the world forgot. But that framing misses something important.
She didn’t want the spotlight. She had access to it. She chose to walk away.
There is a specific kind of courage in that choice, particularly for a woman of her generation — divorcing a famous man in 1975 when Catholic divorce still carried real social stigma, raising a daughter alone, remarrying in private, building a community around faith and golf and summer and church — and never once seeking recognition for any of it.
She raised five children. One became a crusading attorney in Hawaii. Her only daughter Mary Rose attended culinary school and quietly built her own life. Phil included one family photo of Marge and all five children in his 1980 memoir — the only public image of her that most people ever saw.
Phil Donahue once told Oprah he was ambitious, that he worked like a man who couldn’t stop. What he didn’t say — what he didn’t need to say — is that somebody else was holding everything together while he did. That somebody was Marge.
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Frequently Asked Questions
1. Who was Marge Cooney?
Margaret Mary Cooney was an American homemaker and community volunteer, born in 1936 in West Orange, New Jersey. She’s best known as the first wife of television pioneer Phil Donahue, with whom she had five children before their 1975 divorce.
2. When and where did Marge and Phil Donahue get married?
They married on February 1, 1958, at San Felipe de Neri Church in Albuquerque, New Mexico — a Solemn High Nuptial Mass performed by three priests, with close family and friends present.
3. How did Marge and Phil first meet?
Phil met Marge’s brother Jim through theater at Notre Dame. Jim introduced his sister to Phil, and after a period of long-distance courtship — Marge working in Chicago while Phil finished school — they got engaged in 1957.
4. How many children did they have together?
Five: Michael (b. 1959), Kevin (b. 1960), Daniel (b. 1961), James/Jim (b. 1963), and Mary Rose (b. 1965).
5. Why did they divorce?
The divorce was finalized in 1975 after 17 years of marriage, but neither Marge nor Phil ever publicly explained the reasons. Phil acknowledged in a 2002 interview with Oprah that he was a “workaholic” with traditional expectations during his first marriage.
6. Who got custody of the children?
Phil gained custody of their four sons, while Marge raised their daughter, Mary Rose — an unusual arrangement for 1975, and one that was never publicly explained.
7. Did Marge Cooney remarry?
Yes. According to a 1980 Washington Post profile of Phil Donahue, she remarried after returning to New Mexico. Her second husband’s name was never disclosed publicly.
8. When did Marge Cooney die?
She died on February 2, 2018, at Brandywine at Wall senior care residence in Wall, New Jersey. She was 82 years old and surrounded by family.
9. What happened to her son James Donahue?
James “Jim” Donahue died in 2014 at age 51 from a ruptured aortic aneurysm. He had been living in Hawaii and practicing law. His ashes were scattered in the waters off Honolulu.
10. Was Marge Cooney involved in her community?
Very much so. She was a parishioner at St. Mark’s Church in Sea Girt, New Jersey, a volunteer at St. Joan of Arc Church in Boca Raton, Florida, and a long-time member of the Spring Lake Golf Club.
11. Did Marge ever speak publicly after the divorce?
No. The only known public image of her post-divorce was a family photo in Phil’s 1980 memoir. She gave no interviews and sought no media presence.
12. Where did Marge live after her divorce?
She initially moved to Albuquerque, New Mexico with Mary Rose. Later, she maintained connections to New Jersey shore communities she’d loved since childhood, spending her final years in New Jersey.
13. Was Marge Cooney Catholic?
Yes. Faith was foundational to her entire life. She attended Catholic schools, married in a historic Catholic church, and remained an active church volunteer until her death.
14. How old was Phil Donahue when he died?
Phil Donahue died on August 18, 2024, at the age of 88 — more than six years after Marge.
15. Why is Marge Cooney suddenly getting attention online?
Phil Donahue’s death in August 2024 prompted widespread retrospectives on his life, leading many people to search for information about his first wife. Much of what’s written about her online contains contradictions or errors. Reliable details remain limited because she spent decades actively protecting her privacy.
